One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. Teach them to question what they read. That was me when I was fourteen. Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. In America, anyone can become president. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. 120. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. It's important in life if you don't give a shit. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. I just dont have as many people who believe it. We are. ~ (George Carlin). When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. WebTop 10 George Carlin Quotes. ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. He joked about it but he was dead serious. This is the best we can do folks. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin Quotes Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Language is the landscape of thought. ~ (George Carlin). Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. 123. ", When we think of dictators, we think about other countries. I hate groups of people. Montclair State University Digital Commons Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. Carlin did this better than anyone else. Why? The planet is fine. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Some people see the glass half full. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). The less said about it the better. ~ (George Carlin). And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. The people are fucked. Heres all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin on Voting transcript Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Witty George Carlin Quotes. They will only bring you down to their level and beat If someone understands, good. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). This is the best we can do folks. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 76. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason. ~ (George Carlin). It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Best George Carlin Quotes. ", "There may or may not beatheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan. They've got you by the balls. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I dont have a fear of heights. 7. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin 43. I dont vote. Theres a humorous side to every situation. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. 20. Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. They want your fucking retirement money. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? Its because volunteers work for no pay. ", "Selling is legal. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. ~ (George Carlin). Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. 75. Its so f***ing heroic. It will not be with jack-boots. 58. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). And they will readily admit to being awkward: Im such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ~ (George Carlin). Our carefully collected [], Mary Astell (12 November 1666 11 May 1731), considered the first English Feminist, is a philosopher that has been [], Rappers are known for their high self-confidence. Teach them to question everything. Report 48 points POST Looking at you religion. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Theres no present. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. 94. 55. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Lean and mean! I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. 1. 53. WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", "In America, anyone can become president. Yeah the public sucks. Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). 29. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Dont just teach your children to read. 106. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. Could it be everyone? [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. BAM! If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. ", "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Nothing changed. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. 86. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. George Carlin If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. 63. You have no choice. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Careful. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. Fuck em. quotes Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. If not, no matter." I respect animals. I don't trust none of them. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin Quotes I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. 52. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ~ (George Carlin). 40. April 18, 2023, To Get Exclusive Deals, Latest Products, Free Articles & Libertarian News, 2023 Libertarian Country. What do dogs do on their day off? Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! 99. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. 61. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin Featured in: George Carlin Quotes Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes 500 WALLPAPERS 8,907 POINTS Seneca Quotes